PUA Lover – Do women like Pick Up Artists?
Do women like PUA’s, otherwise know as Pick Up Artists? Well you would expect the answer to be no. Why would any sensible woman like a man who has set out to ‘pick up’ lots of women. Men who don’t care about women but just want to use them and then move on to the next with no real thought for their feelings.
Well this is where we may disagree. Not on the fact that women hate guys that set out to use them. If you do, you have some issues you may want to get some help for. But on the fact that not all Pick Up Artists are out to hurt or use women. Now you may be saying to yourself that I must have some issues as well as being in denial about these guys. And a while ago I would have said the same thing, but something happened a year or so ago that changed my mind. Actually it’s done more than change my mind but I’ll come on to that in a little while. First I want to give you a bit of background so you can understand my point.
I’m a 25 year old woman from London who likes to think she’s worldly wise (I’m sure some of you will like to disagree). I’ve spent nearly a year travelling around, South East Asia and South America mostly, and I’ve studied psychology in the United States. And it was in the US that I first heard the term Pick Up Artist, as I’ve come to know it now, but not the first time I had experienced one.
I’d been living in LA for a couple of months and was used to being hit on by guys all the time. Now I was over there to study not to find Mr Right, especially not in a bar, so I just ignored most of these guys. And it wasn’t really that hard to because most of them were either really lame with their come ons, or way too cock sure for what they were. Now confidence is a good thing but if you can barely spell your name but are so sure you are gods gift to women then I pity you rather than agreeing with you.
It was after a couple of months of being over there that I met this great guy called Joshua . As I said I wasn’t looking for this but I couldn’t help myself, he was amazing. It started like most nights out, with him coming up to me in a bar, and to be honest when I first saw him I wasn’t that keen, but after a few minutes of talking to him I felt a massive attraction to him. Was it the fact that the way he teased me turned me on both sexually and intellectually? Was it the fact that he had something to say, in fact was really engaging? Or was it the fact he seemed confident in a very matter of fact way? Well it was all of these things. It was all I could do to stop myself throwing myself at him when he took my number and left.
We met up a few days later and had an amazing date. He was a real gentleman, but with darker, edgier side just below the surface. We started seeing each other, once or twice a week, always having a great, sometimes wild time. It was after couple of months of this that I was out with a friend and we got hit on by two guys. Now the weirdest thing happened. This guy who was hitting on me was saying some of the same things that Joshua did the first night we met. At first I didn’t think too much of it but then a week or so later I’m out with another friend when the same thing happens, but this time not only does the guy say the exact same things but also did this little psychological game that Joshua did on me, in fact it was one of the reason that I fell for him.
Well I wasn’t sure what was going on but I knew that something was wrong and I wasn’t going to be made a fool of. So the next time I saw Joshua I had it out with him, why were there loads of guys around town saying the same thing that he was? Was he lying to me? Was he a phoney? Well he said the strangest thing, he said yes and no. And then it all came out. He told me about how he was never very good with women but had been learning with this community. At first I thought he meant some kind of college course, stupidly, but then he mentioned the phrase Pick Up Artist and I freaked out. So he had been using me! He said this was not the case, that he had been a PUA to learn how to be the type of guy that women wanted, that made women happy, but now he was with me he didn’t have to do these things, he had found his perfect girl (he always was really sweet).
I wasn’t having any of it. I asked him if he still saw any of the community? He said they were his friends so yes. Well I couldn’t take this, I couldn’t have them all laughing at me so we split up. He tried many times to convince me that he was sincere but I wouldn’t listen. Nope, not being made a fool of me.
After a month or so he stopped trying to contact me. It wasn’t easy but I knew I had to be strong. I made it all the way to summer break and couldn’t wait to get back home and see my friends. They would look after me. So back to London I went and what was waiting for me there was an even bigger surprise. Upon my return I find out that my geeky older brother is going out with one of my best friends. Now I wasn’t annoyed just shocked. My older brother James has always been a geek and has never had many girlfriends. It’s not that he’s a bad guy or anything, it’s just he’s a bit of a wet flannel went it comes to women. Now what made it all the more shocking is that he was seeing Eloise, who bless her, sets her standards very high and wouldn’t normally be seen anywhere near someone like my brother. What was going on?
When I eventually saw James he was so different than when I left. He was wearing good clothes, he had a certain confidence about him that had been lacking before. At first I thought this was great that he was sorting his life out, but then on a night out one of his friends used a line that Joshua had used. I couldn’t believe it, my brother had become a Pick Up Artist! I was pissed to say the least, I stormed over to him confronting him with this, at first he denied it, but when I threatened to tell Eloise he backed down and said yes he was, but it wasn’t like I thought. That he wasn’t some ass-hole, sleeping around, that he did it to make himself a better person, to understand women. Well I still wasn’t sure but we agreed to talk about it tomorrow.
So the next day we meet up and he tells me about how his friend introduced him into the PUA community, and at first he to was put off by the idea that PUA’s use women. Then he delved into it a little further and found out that yes, some PUA are out just to sleep with lots of women, but that there are also lots of guys that were never naturally good with women, learning about to become a better man that women found interesting and attractive.
Now if this was any other guy I probably wouldn’t have believed him, but I had seen James go for years not having success with women and to be honest pitying him really. But then here was this confident, funny, interesting guy, how else did it happen? James told me that discovering the community and the good bits in it saved his life. That’s how strongly he felt about it. Well I had to take him seriously. This is when I decided to tell him about Joshua. After explaining what had happened he told me that I should give him a chance. He could be just like him, a guy that was the information out there to make himself a better person.
I thought about it for a while and my time with Joshua had been amazing, had seemed real. And god knows he tried so hard to convince me that he wasn’t a player. So after a day or two of thinking I gave him a call. We agreed to meet when I got back to the states, and well I don’t want to get all mushy on you now but we’ve been happily together for 3 years now. In fact Joshua asked me to marry him two months ago, not bad going for a Pick Up Artist eh? And James believes so much in how some of the knowledge in the community can help guys that he started his own website dedicated to it.
So to answer my initial question, do women like pick up artists? Well if more women knew what it was really about then yes. I know I certainly do.
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