How To Be A Pick Up Artist

How To Be A Pick Up Artist

Okaaay. Well first, are you SURE you want to call it that? “Picking Up Artists” sound to women (and accomplished men) like tricking women, getting sex and nothing else, not giving much else, and in a way, is actually kind of a needy title to go by.

In my profession, a rule is, “First, do no harm.” And not only is it harmful to use women, but also harmful to yourself to go only for sex rather than quality interaction, and even lasting friendship with women, sex or not.

How about how to ATTRACT women instead. I don’t like the phrases Pickup or Seduction for the reason that they imply trickery, neediness, and manipulation rather than recognizing the mature, confident boundaries of a man and gentleman lead to not only sexual attraction, but quality politics, social opportunity and connection to women in general.

This being said, it IS true that the very first KIND of attraction you will have to master in any lasting connection to a woman romantically will indeed be the sexual attraction. Instead of being a “pickup artist,” why not be an Attraction Master.

Sexual attraction comes first? I thought I just told you that “going only for the sex is bad?”

I did, but the key word is “only,” not to the EXCLUSION of.

Unlike you, women not only thrill on the passion of sex, but instinctively need it to be PAIRED with both a friendship vibe and the promise of at least POTENTIAL commitment.

These take the form sometimes of appreciating a man’s sense of HUMOR, which is a key friendship ability indicator, and that when she senses that you “know how to treat a woman like a lady” – it is not just that you are sophisticated and suave.

It’s that the high character and maturity of behaving in a diplomatic, courteous way implies that you ALSO have the traits which are absolutely necessary to even being capable of someday making a commitment.

A mature, quality woman will not DEMAND instant commitment. She will look for the CAPACITY to have it in you.

Then…

The sexual attraction startup skills. If you thought you wanted to be a “pickup artist,” but soon discover that you want to be an Attraction Master, you will need more than just sexually attractive traits. You will need real humor and the ability to befriend women (for REAL), boundaries, patience, and the character of maturity, and you will need more going on in your life than just a lot of dates and get rich quick schemes as your career plan.

Ultimately, it is MASCULINITY itself which is sexually attractive to women, and in my materials on this, I lay out masculinity as having BOTH the ability to “do the right moves” with women, but also the progress on a career mission that matters to SOCIETY.

Those skills, tactics and moves will need to be flavored with more than just robotic actions. They need friendly emotion, real character, career accomplishment or potential, and respect both for the woman and yourself.

Starting at the start though, there are three things to do when beginning an attraction:

While there are numerous skills, tactics and strategies associated with this very first phase of courtship, the two most crucial that we can blast your skills upward with are threefold:

1. Be MYSTERIOUS – meaning, become a source of curiosity for the woman. She needs to be wondering about what makes you tick, why you know the people you know, why you dress that way, why you know those things, and she needs, for now, to utterly not BE ABLE TO LABEL you.

2. Be a source of laughter, humor, or at least reason to smile – early dating and sexual attraction are all “body related,” meaning they are about body language and action. Yet the woman has a need for any romantic action to be paired with happiness, friendliness, and good emotion. Her emotions are her guide, especially when it comes to the nonverbal about romance. Humor, laughter, and smiles are all automatic ways of expressing fun, happiness, and friendship early, midway, and throughout any relationship, date, or courtship.

2. Do TOUCH her – If you are both mysterious and funny, or a source of happiness and friendship for the woman, it is likely you will have gotten signals from her that she likes you and approves of you. The very next step is to initiate TOUCH. If this DOESN’T happen the biological triggers tell her there is something WRONG with the date, with the attraction, with a potential relationship, and ultimately, with YOU.

Men have a hard time getting over their culturally taught fear of touch. But courteous, respectful, diplomatic touching such as a handshake, a high five, or a brush of the shoulder to make a point or emphasize some humor are great entrees to more intimate, and importantly, ACCEPTED, touching.

After all, you will never get to a kiss without first touching, and you will never get to sex without kissing.

This process must begin with you as a source of curiosity and intrigue, lead to fun and humor, and get to the finish via daring to start intimate touch.

I do not want you to suffer the empty life of a mere “pickup artist.” I want you to have the rich life of an Attraction Master – a mature, sophisticated gentleman with more going on in his life than just chasing tail.

Paul Dobransky, M.D. is a board-certified psychiatrist, public speaker and relationship expert who has treated more than 10,000 patients in 15+ years in clinical psychiatric care. Journalists and clients worldwide have sought Dr. Paul’s advice on dating, relationships and all aspects of human psychology.

Dr. Paul pioneered MindOS, a new, patent-pending approach to understanding relationships, mood problems and stress. MindOS synthesizes all schools of therapy into a single, effective system-based approach that uses plain language to help people understand psychology and solve problems. Go to http://www.doctorpaul.net to learn more.


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