Navigate Dating, Marriage and Beyond With These Best-Sellers

Relationships Don’t Come With An Instruction Manual, But These Will Help

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Love is universal. It’s something even the snarkiest, most pessimistic of critics want. But to attain such a valued emotional connection, there’s a catch. From beginning to end, it’s going to take a lot of work.

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From finding someone who doesn’t drive you completely nuts, to moving in together, merging your lives and learning to communicate, the work it takes to maintain a healthy relationship is neverending. It’s a lot like working out at the gym: more work, a better result.

For many, consulting a book to better their relationship is an exercise in maintenance, with some thinking there’s no way words on a page will fix their love life. Considering more than 2,000 new self-help books are placed in bookstores every year, it’s clear they’re doing something right.

To help guide you through your struggles, we’ve assembled the best self-help books for relationships on the market, dividing them by category to help you source the book that suits you best.

For the Guy With No Game

“The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene

“The Art of Seduction†by Robert Greene

Though the title sounds like it’s crafted by a shady pickup artist, this is not the case. Rather, the book highlights 24 maneuvers and strategies of the seductive process, with each principle – like poeticizing your presence and keeping them in suspense – given its own chapter full of stories, quotes and historical anecdotes. The knowledge and research in this book, while impressive, are best not to be taken literally. Instead, regard them as lessons to better understand how you can adapt the principles to benefit yourself in areas you may be lacking. If nothing else, the few reviewers who didn’t find the book helpful said it makes for an intensely entertaining read.
$17.77 at

For the Guy Giving Dating Apps a Second Chance

“Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World” by Joanna Coles

“Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World†by Joanna Coles

“Love Rules,” which describes itself as “a diet book for romantic relationships,” primarily targets women, but proves just as useful to men. We’re all forced to ditch traditional dating methods for the fast-paced, and often lonely, digital age of apps and websites. This book hones in on that with 15 individual “love hacks” that Coles has learned in her years at Cosmopolitan, speaking with an impressive panel of experts to help enhance the often daunting digital dating experience.
$15.79 at

For the Guy Seeking an Analytic Approach to Love

“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love” by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love†by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

Love is an indescribable feeling, yet some believe science can explain (or help explain) just about everything. This is the case in “Attached,” where psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. To help find where you fit in the mix, the book asks readers to categorize themselves by their relationship behavior, offering three identifiable archetypes, and guides them in determining which attachment style they and their mate should follow based on how you identify. From there, the book offers scientific tips toward building a stronger, more fulfilling connection with the person you love.
$13.99 at

For the Guy Who Might Be Skeptical About Marriage

“The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work” by Eli J. Finkel

“The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work†by Eli J. Finkel

By investigating and analyzing the institution of marriage since its inception, author Eli J. Finkel details how the primary functions of marriage have evolved. That journey goes from food, shelter and protection (1620), to love and companionship (1850), shifting to the present with self-discovery, self-esteem and personal growth. Combining a thoughtful analysis of this evolution, along with data-based research and practical advice, Finkel offers practical hacks to improve communication, responsiveness and when to recalibrate our expectations in your relationship. “The All-or-Nothing Marriage” is an open-minded book for all types of relationships, and shares how any marriage can be a little bit better.
$16.74 at

For the Guy Seeking Hands-On Help

“Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams

“Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love†by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams

Drawing on 40 years of research, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, both with experience studying thousands of relationships through several decades of clinical observation, invite couples on eight dates, each focused on a make-or-break issue like trust, conflict, sex, money and so on. The book is user-friendly, reading like a step-by-step guide that encourages action by peeling your ass off the couch. Each chapter begins with a frank discussion about each topic, then lays out a date plan with suggestions for how to prepare, where to go, and questions to ask. “Eight Dates” promises to help you discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before by encouraging date night, a welcome and often fruitful escape for any couple.
$13.99 at

For the Guy With A Lot of Emotions

“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Sue Johnson

“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love†by Sue Johnson

In “Hold Me Tight,” Dr. Sue Johnson provides emotionally focused therapy to readers utilizing case studies, practical exercises and advice from her practice. Through this very successful form of couples therapy, Johnson encourages couples to reestablish a safe emotional connection by focusing on key moments in a relationship, using them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. The book prioritizes expressing emotions in a way to encourage love, not resentment. More than one reviewer has said this book has saved their relationship, calling it “revolutionary.”
$13.29 at

For the Guy Who Cannot Communicate His Feelings

“The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman

“The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts†by Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman’s approach to experiencing deeper and richer levels of intimacy is done so through five love languages: words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch. First, Chapman asks you and your partner to choose which of these languages you identify with most. Once this is selected, he argues you will be better able to communicate the ways that make you feel loved with your partner and vice-versa. The book enlightens readers by teaching them that the way they want to be loved is not necessarily the same way your partner – or anybody, for that matter – wants to be loved. And by recognizing their own unique love language, couples’ relationship satisfaction has never been greater.
$9.59 at

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